3 years

Assalamualaikum,

Walawey, it has been three damn years since I last wrote the blog! Wow 😂

Whatever it is I am good and blessed Alhamdulillah. I make my blog public again. It just too many bugs back then. Well, I am sure there are many bugs right now too. 

Anyway anyhow, I have graduated from my master's program Alhamdulillah and currently pursuing my PhD in Counselling, and still jobless😂. 

I decided to write again on my blog since I feel like this is the way I'm reducing and letting go of all my emotions and feeling. By writing. 

I realized back then during my degree years, I spent time writing on my blog. I wrote whatever I felt and my thoughts and I think I did well. Since I'm now a registered counsellor, lately I've been thinking a lot about why I can control my emotion, my perangai, my brain back then even though during that time studying was crazy hard, and I lived alone in my house. I only managed to hang out with my friend on weekends and on weekdays, I am usually a lone ranger all by myself. How did I manage to stay sane? I guess one thing I did was write a blog and play the piano.

Now that I have three kids, and living with my husband, I sometimes feel overwhelmed. I get angry very easily. I hate listening to my kids shouting and then I regret and guilty for feeling like that. I don't want to feel that, but I can't undo the feeling no matter how much I tried.

Two nights ago, me and my little family went eating satay somewhere in Ampang. A salesboy came and promote his cookies and I talk to him like I was talking to my counselling client. I guess I did not get too stressed during my master's journey because I get to speak to someone. I have study friends and I get to talk often. But lately, my mind is driving me insane. So on our back home, it sparked me. I told my husband that I am happy when I got to talk about anything, even to strangers. My mood boosted like magic! I was very angry before that I scream at my kids for anything they do. Crazy me. So this is when I realized that I need some place to let go of my thoughts and emotions. 

And this is why I DECIDED TO WRITE again on my blog. Plus nowadays I spent more time on my laptop because of my PhD work. So I guess, please expect more blog posts from now on. Or else, I might be dying because of depression lulz.

Oh, and I make my blog public now, but still not accessible on Google because some crazy women will find their way to stalk me no matter what. You will not believe there are some girls who create multiple accounts just to stalk me and my husband. Gila punya orang. Get a life!

Till then, I see you when I see you.

-adios-