2018 and New School

Assalamualaikum.

So Zaheen started to go to his new school on 2nd Jan, means tomorrow will be his 4th day in school. However, he seems like he didn't really enjoy his new school. The first day he went back from school, he's smiling and chilling like usual. When i asked him how was school, he said teacher gave him nametag, he ate well, and played too. So I assumed he likes his new school. 

The second day, he went back also smiling. But my husband said he's been saying he wants to stay at home again and again and again and keep repeating the same thing all the way back from school. He played and watched tv as usual after Isya' before he suddenly cried and said "tanak gi schoooollll", after I showed him the pictures which his teacher sent to me. He cried for about fifteen minutes before fell asleep few minutes after I managed to cool him down.

Today, he went back less smiling. As usual I gave him a big hug when I saw him and asked how was school. This time, he cried loudly and keep repeating "Aheen tanak gi school". And the cry remains for almost an hour. Lucky we did plan and decided to go out for dinner tonight to make him forget about the school for a while. He even cried louder when he saw me wearing my proper blouse to go out, because he thinks I'm going to send him to school again. I had a hard time telling him that we are not going to school at night.

So after the dinner, he fell asleep on our way back home. One thing that makes me worry is, he started having nightmare about school. He woke up two times already tonight and cried saying he doesn't want to go to school. 

Hurm. We asked the teacher before if he's okay at school and the teacher said he's okay and ate well. The teacher said sometimes he cried and mention mommy and daddy. He even woke up from his nap this evening and cried loudly searching for mommy and daddy, and his friends then were all awake due to his loud crying voice - which I think it annoyed the teachers and make us as parents feel guilty.

So the question now is, is he ready for school? I think he feel lost because this is a new school for him and I do feel his teachers are a lil bit strict on all the students there. It's weird to see the pictures of a bunch of kids sit down properly, looking at camera, not smiling at all like something is pressuring them to stay still. His past school regularly uploading pictures on their Facebook page, and it's normal to see kids in his age wandering and playing around while taking the picture. But this time, I don't know because it's hard tell. Well of course every school is different. Maybe he's not acting like this in his past school because he was just 8 months old when the first time I sent him, and his cousin Sakinah was there too so maybe he feels less scared.  

Anyway, my husband said the teacher today said this to him once, "kalau Zaheen kutis bibir lagi nanti teacher selotape tangan"- this is when Zaheen kutis his dry lips due to lack of drinking water. It is a normal thing to say, but for Zaheen it is not. He is super duper afraid of the selotape. It's my fault because I used to scare him with the selotape whenever he say and do something bad, even I never really use selotape to do anything to him. But he reallllllly scared of the selotape even just to see it, I don't know why. So I guess, when the teacher - who now he feels like a stranger, scared him with a selotape, I think that is the biggest point why he did act like that today. He feel very scared. Just imagine, he just knew these strangers, had no friend and no one he knows around him and of course he is really, really scared. I know how scared he is that now I feel all teary knowing how helpless he feels at that time. Poor my little boy.

If you ask me what I feel. Deep in my heart, I do feel something is wrong somewhere. But i don't know is it just my feeling or what. I don't know if Zaheen is not ready for school yet, or is he just having a hard time to adapt to his new school and making friend (which I think not really because Zaheen loves making new friend), or the school is actually not suitable for Zaheen, or perhaps Zaheen is just being spoiled because he hasn't go to school for a while now. And actually my left eye has been blinking since Tuesday and I don't even know why. Wallahualam.

Whatever it is, for now I can only pray that Zaheen will have a good time at school and his teachers are patient enough to handle him. I pray that Allah will ease his heart and give strength to my lil boy to go through this adaptation process. I know Zaheen is a one strong and brave boy. May Allah ease us all. Amin.

I miss the smile and laugh at Zaheen's face. :( 

P/s : I need a back up plan. Help!!!

-adios-

Sent from android